Are Millennials The Worst Generation Ever?

Millennials on the move!

Millennials on the move!

Are we, Millennials, really the worst generation ever? That clip from “The Newsroom” is always making the rounds on Facebook and the character’s stats are all accurate within a point or two- fact checked it myself a while ago. But is he right about us?

Cause Millennials weren’t the ones who covered the environment with pollution and greenhouse gases that now threaten our way of life and our very existence. But remember that time Millennials spilled a bunch of oil in the Gulf of Mexico? Or how about that time we funded the shit out of climate change deniers and their interests? No! You fucking don’t because that was one of the other idiot generations. Which is partly understandable since previous generation were pretty fucking stupid. Well, ignorant at least, because they simply didn’t know what we know now. But that’s no excuse to keep practicing the same dated techniques and espousing the same archaic rhetoric. Previous generations also fucked up the economy so bad it’s impact reverberated around the entire goddamn world. They were, and some still are, pretty racist too. And homophobic.

Given the same circumstances and limited knowledge of the dark ages whose to say our generation wouldn’t have made the same greedy, irresponsible, and destructive decisions? Doesn’t really matter though because what’s done is done and we had nothing to do with, but we are the ones picking up the tab and cleaning up these catastrofucks.

But we have our own problems too! Like staring at our phones all the time. That’s as bad as the racism thing, right? No? Yeah, not quite. Well, we’re always online wasting time and our politics extend only as far as our Facebook posts reach. We don’t make a lot of money either and maybe still live at home because we’re so fucking lazy. We also only give a shit about a cause for a week tops, then something else happens and we forget all about that last shooting. We have only surface, superficial knowledge of the issues facing contemporary society too.

Nah, just kidding. Some of that’s true, and some it may be more true for others. But remember Occupy? The Arab Spring? Or what about the Black Lives Matter movement? Yeah? Cause that was fucking us being on our phones. Remember when Obama got elected? And reelected? That may have largely been millennials voting for the first time. And the money thing? Well, we all know who trashed the economy and refuses to share profits with employees who make those profits possible. As for the issues and superficial knowledge, we’re doping the best we can with the literally constant stream of news! Current generations will know more than some of the previous generations combined! It’s no wonder it can be tough to stay informed.

Certainly all generations have done stupid shit and we’ll certainly have our turn at that, we just haven’t had enough time to fuck things up as much as the Baby Boomers yet. Here’s the thing though, we are learning from your mistakes, Boomers! We are growing in number while yours shrink because you’re all old and dying! So get used to our liberal values and tolerance towards others. And we’re gonna vote the shit out of you next election!

~David T. Kukulkan~


About davidtkukulkan

I am a cognizant collection and configuration of genes in symbiosis with various microorganisms, thoughts, memories, emotions all encoded in neurochemicals.
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5 Responses to Are Millennials The Worst Generation Ever?

  1. Cyborg Ape says:

    From the list you linked to:
    “Began Drawdown of War in Afghanistan: From a peak of 101,000 troops in June 2011, U.S. forces are now down to 91,000, with 23,000 slated to leave by the end of summer 2012.”

    It was Obama who escalated the war this high in the first place. In 2009, there had been 38,200 troops. Yes, he vastly escalated that war.

  2. I’m not sure that electing Obama twice, supporting the racist Black Lives movement, or the inane “Occupy” movement are positive checkmarks for Millennials. I will say this as an employer. Who has a range of ages under him. My millennials are not my best employees. They are a bit lazy but expect that they should rewarded and promoted. There seems to be a disturbing entitlement attitude among them without the corresponding work ethic that people in my generation had at their age, and largely still have. They are frankly a mixed bag. I worry about the future of the country

    • We’ll have to disagree. Obama isn’t perfect, but he’s done some great things and he was certainly the better of the two options. BLM isn’t racist and you might not understand the movement. As for Occupy, it had it’s issues, but many chapters across the US left the national spotlight and focused on their local problems. And if the worst thing is we’re a bit lazy, oh well. But what do you expect when we see those Wall St. fat cat types raking in all the profits while people working 40+ hours aren’t even at substance level? It teaches us hard work does’t pay off.

      • lol. worse President since Carter and proven by poll after poll which gives him under 43% approval ratings for years. You have few people that agree that his ‘accomplishments’ (whatever they are) compare well against almost 7 years of lies, scandal, incompetency, driving up the national debt, and foreign policy in tatters and the world more dangerous than ever. Occupy is even dumber. To what end? I’ll stop. Arguing with liberals is pointless. They have no facts just emotion. No the worst thing isn’t that they are lazy, you just simply dismissed what I said, which most of the public agrees with. Did you see how the Demodouchebags got wiped out last November in historic fashion? It’s not because Obama is respected, that’s for sure

      • There’s no arguing with the Obama haters, they have no facts, just emotion. History will judge him far better than his contemporaries. Here are some facts: Pretty sure most of those “scandals” were GoP lies and propaganda. Occupy had a lot of varied messages and goals, but one of the major ones was to alleviate the massive wealth inequality. Historic fashion? Really? Political control of Congress goes back and forth all the time. And I certainly didn’t “just” dismiss what you said. I considered your statements carefully and then dismissed them.

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