Communication: Talk, Talk, Talk

The mood swings: I started to notice them a couple of days before it’s time for my shot of testosterone. I get moody, aggressive even, not physical, but I can explode.  Currently I’m on 50mg every two weeks – that’s not a lot, but they start you low and you work your way up – and I’ve been going to the doctor more in a month then I have in my lifetime. I’ve also become more sensitive since starting the testosterone. For someone who did not learn how to handle emotions as a kid, this is quite a sight. However, since I did attend therapy for my trauma, something I recommend to everyone who has ever experienced any kind of trauma whether it be physical, mental, or both. Get help. Don’t hold it in. I can speak from experience bottling it up will only lead you down a very bad path, to the dark side (star wars references will happen with me). So, therapy helped me with processing my emotions and using coping skills. One of those skills was writing it out (oh, the irony).

Finding a support system and having the right person to talk to are key. The main person in my support system (but not the only) is my wife. She is my partner and my best friend. I am sure that this transition is not easy on her – I started my physical transition almost three years into our marriage. But, she has known since the beginning that I am a man and when I was ready to start the journey, to simply let her know. Communication is also key. Communication with your other half is crucial, it doesn’t matter the subject just talk to each other and always be honest with both your partner and yourself.

I tell my wife everything: the physical changes I’m going through, even when I’m feeling moody. Things are changing for both of us so, it’s vital for us to make sure the other knows what is going on.

Communication has never been my strength. I am reliable, loyal, will work to the bone for you. But, communicating what is going on in my head, not so much. The part I struggled (ok, still struggle with a little bit) is that it feels like there are a million voices in my head talking all at once. Sounds crazy? Well it is but, it isn’t. Everyone has those little voices in their head. It’s called your conscience. Your personality traits are there too. If you’ve seen the movie “Inside Out” then you know what I’m talking about. Let me just say that movie hit personality theory out of the ball park. Everything was completely accurate and on point. Excuse the nerd in me, I did minor in psychology after all and I gushed when I saw that movie and actually recalled what I learned. Who says you forget everything when you graduate? Not this guy.


~Jay Barnette~

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About davidtkukulkan

I am a cognizant collection and configuration of genes in symbiosis with various microorganisms, thoughts, memories, emotions all encoded in neurochemicals.
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