The function of this blog seems to always be changing, or at least vague and multifaceted. It’s served as an online journal of sorts, a writing portfolio, and just a general platform for my voice – which itself changes. For the foreseeable future, rather than try to hammer down a specific niche, I’ll embrace the current and various underlying themes.
As the time stamps on any post will show, it’s been some time since I’ve written anything. Actually, that’s not true, it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, but I have done some writing and lots of rewriting. So this here is just a summary of goings on as of late.
Perhaps most notably though would have to be the change in my general mood. Some time ago I removed a number of posts because I loathed the voice used in writing and it came from a very different place – a much darker and depression saturated place. Since that time my mood has continued to improve and with that improvement finally comes more agency to make even more. While I’m by no means “cured” of anxiety and depression, everything’s easier because it turns out when you don’t have to use all your remaining energy and will power to get out of bed and brush your teeth there’s a lot more you can get done during the day.
As the country and world’s respective moods worsened mine started to get better (just weird timing).But it feels like I’ve always been in crisis mode and now other people have to catch up. My neurons have an endless supply of crises to fire off at instead of only the intermittent crises during the last administration. However, that’s probably just coincidence given that most people react to the incessant barrage of bad news and almost daily constitutional crises oppositely by exhibiting an increase in depressive symptoms. Regardless, it compels me to write and better myself which in turn will not just make the world a better place, but grant me increased agency to continue making it better.
Perhaps you’re wondering how bettered my mood, or how I got the upper hand over my own neurons. Well, while I intend to write more about my various projects and such that helped me, they may not work for everyone. But, if I had to distil it all into a single sentence, or tweet: “The main thing is to just keep trying and to keep trying new things until something seems to help. “
~D.T. Kukulkan~