People today are a bunch of pussies. My generation (1980-2000 and onward the trend goes), me, we’re all a bunch of squishy livestock and too many of us have panic attacks when we lose power for a few hours.

One of my sisters has school, work, places to go, people to see and it’s all coordinated by Facebook and a smartphone. There’s no hot water, no stove, no fridge, no heat, no light, no microwave. It’s all dead. She proceeded to be a little bitch about it: crying and whining and literally bitching. But who wouldn’t? That’s everything. That’s our entire life. And WTF now it’s gone? How do I do the things I do now? You can’t. And, understandably, losing the “control’ over your life and how you live it is a terrifying prospect. You can’t cook, or keep warm. There’s no fucking water! You get it, 3 fucking days you got without that- if you don’t freeze to death at night in the winter or die of heat stroke in the summer without the A/C.

It’s not really our fault. Each generation has created a slightly safer, more sterile, domesticated environment in which the human animal may live. We are now adapted to our urban and metropolitan terrariums rather well-though far from perfectly, and we can process and handle what’s thrown at is inside it: homework, “real” work, second job, paperwork everywhere, keeping up to date on fashion and horoscopes and being quick enough with a smartphone to snap an awesome pic to Instagram real quick. Facebook, Twitter, blogging, YouTube, texting, it’s all sort of a pseudo-social interaction alienating us from the nature of nature including ourselves. And fuck you if you can’t see me in person and I’m anonymous. If we disagree about something on the Internet you’re wrong cause you’re a fucking idiot. End of story, I don’t need to clearly present evidence to you and engage in a dialogue. That’s what we can do. And we can figure out how long to heat the ramen up for in the microwave, or how to use the oven to make special cookies. First World problems…

Sometimes there are also people who are “maladapted” to this First World farm- including a lot us. How often has Facebook let you down because you had no new red icons indicating someone messaged you, or liked a post?  What happens when someone calls you fucking curse words and slurs? How well do you deal with an asshole that’s spreading some libelous, slanderous rumor, or private issue, all over the Internet so all your friends, the cute guy you like, teachers, employers, coworkers, your parents, grandma and myself  can see? Sometimes it seems stimuli like those (social predation, social stress, combined with modern alienation of physical interaction) act as new psychological selection pressures resulting in suicide. And who blames them? That’s fucked up. I’m not saying I could handle anything like that as much as I’d like to. We should obviously teach kids not to be vicious cunts and stop the problem before it starts- but realistically there will probably always be kids who are vicious cunts that torture meek, quiet, and easy targets. The teacher’s won’t always be there, nor will the parents, or the police, but mediation should be sought, or legal action if need be and if possible. And still, there will be kids–oh and adults of course too– that just won’t stop being fucking dicks because they’re sociopaths, terrified themselves, and or a slew of possible reasons for persistent dickishness. And that’s sad. I may think you’re weird, or ugly, or whatever, but I’m not going to torture you with it just because you’re different, or you did something stupid one time because you got hammered because you had never really drank before and no one showed you how to drink responsibly because it’s too taboo. I’ve been there.

So, I humbly suggest that while teaching the next generation not to be sadistic assholes, we also teach them not to be afraid of conflict and to expect it and to stand their ground when the inevitable conflict occurs, or at least to be less afraid. Maybe show them how to use the grill, or start a fire, teach them about nature, and the relationship between the snakes and toads.  Sometimes there are conflicts simply because two sides have equal merit, but are not compatible and only one side can win. In such cases it’s not about who’s right and who’s wrong it’s about who wins.

If a bully comes up to my kid (if I have kids one day) and is all up in his grille frontin’ tryin’ to get at his Oreo cookies I want my kid to be the kid who puts chili powder in his Oreos the next day for said bully. There’s going to be conflict and bullies everywhere in life and instead of a purely turn the other cheek mentality let’s teach them to kick some ass if they have to.

~David T. Kukulkan~